Jamie's Story

A trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico….and SO much more.

By Jamie Moore

It’s Friday afternoon, and my sister Jenny calls me: “Jamie, you and Jeremy have to call in to KS95 radio on Monday morning! They are having a contest called “Marriedoke” where couples (who don’t HAVE to be married) sing duets for a chance to win a trip for two to Mexico!”  I told Jeremy about it, and he thought it sounded like a fantastic idea. 

So, Monday morning, we got up early and started listening for the details, and when to call.  They said that one person of the couple needed to call in and sing, and the top three singers would bring their significant others with them to the radio station on Wednesday morning, Valentine’s Day!  So, with groggy morning voice, I called, got through, and sang a bit of George Michael and Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun go Down on Me.”  I made it through that round, and we were all set to go in and sing on Wednesday morning.

Then, I really began to think about this situation.  I’m the director of music and liturgy for a local Catholic Church. I am going to be on a major twin cities radio station, singing a duet, as a gay man (who is out to many, but not all), with my partner of four years. What if people from church hear this?  What if they react negatively? Then I got myself together, and realized that this was an opportunity.  This was a chance, for Jeremy and I, to really put it all “out” there, and to allow anyone who hears it to react as they wish. 

We arrived at the KS95 studios at 7AM on Valentines Day.  We were nervous, and excited all at the same time.  We met the other couples; one young man and woman who had been together for two years, and another guy and gal who had been together almost five months.   We had a nice visit with them for about ½ an hour, each sharing our stories of how we qualified for the contest and such.  We were then brought upstairs to the studio, and the staff of the morning show welcomed ALL of us so warmly.  We all sang our songs, and waited for the call-in votes to start coming in.  We were the first couple to get the required number of votes, so we were the winners! 

Phone calls from family and friends began to pour in, telling us how proud they were of us, and how excited they were.  “I wonder how many people that know us were listening,” I thought. “How many of them were shocked to find out that we’re a gay couple? How will they react, if at all?”

I checked my email when we got home, and I had several messages from people from the church community.  Every single one of them congratulated us, saying that we deserved it, that they were happy for us, and wished us well on our trip.  Their responses moved me to tears. I felt love, and acceptance. The fears I had about possible negative reactions were wiped away. 

I realized then, that this contest was about so much more, for us, than winning a trip. It was a great learning experience for us.  It taught us that we haven’t been giving people enough credit!  Why assume that people’s reaction to learning about our relationship will be negative? Why not assume that it will be positive, or that they may not even react any differently than they would to anyone else?  I will, from now on, regardless of who I’m talking to, proudly use the term “partner” when referring to the wonderful man I have in my life. I have gotten so much better about doing this already, in the past year or so, but this experience has confirmed for me that I can truly always do this with confidence and pride. If a reaction does happen to be negative, or fearful, it only means that an opportunity to build a positive relationship with this person has presented itself!

I have great hope for the future, and for the growth of acceptance of our GLBT community among all people.  It is up to me to build positive, authentic relationships with people who might not otherwise be blessed to have gay people in their lives. If all of us in the GLBT community, and our friends and family can do this, I believe it could be the key to wiping out fears and bringing us all closer together.